In life, everyone experiences a series of “firsts.” These initial moments are significant milestones, whether encountered as a parent, a child, or an adult. For parents and babies alike, there are those cherished firsts: the first time a baby rolls over, crawls, sprouts a tooth, or takes their first steps. Each of these moments signals important growth, showing that a child is becoming their own person and gaining independence.
As children continue to grow, more “firsts” follow—such as saying their first word, losing their first tooth, starting their first day of school, or riding the bus for the first time. There are also moments like getting their first haircut, riding a bike without training wheels, or joining their first sports team. All of these milestones are reminders that the child is becoming more self-reliant and beginning to need their parents just a little less.
With time, these “firsts” become more complex. There’s the first school dance, the first car, the first date, and the first kiss. Parents often experience mixed emotions during this stage. While they want to see their children grow and become independent, there’s also a desire to protect them from the challenges and sadness that may come with these new experiences.
Adulthood brings its own set of firsts: the first job interview, the first job, buying a first home, sharing a first kiss and dance as a married couple, the first holiday with your significant other, welcoming a first child, and eventually, a first grandchild. These milestones become a way of life, as adults witness their children and grandchildren navigating their own series of firsts, continuing the cycle of growth and new experiences.
Even though each of these “firsts” is unique, they all share something important: they bring us joy and happiness. These are the moments we capture in photos and videos, looking back on them again and again for years to come. They are the milestones we share with family, friends, and loved ones who become significant parts of our lives. We cherish these firsts because they form some of our most treasured memories – memories that remain with us and shape who we are.
Yet, there are also “firsts” that we rarely speak about or may even wish to forget. Inevitably, everyone faces the painful firsts that come with losing a loved one. During the first year after a loss, we encounter moments we don’t document with pictures or videos. These are the experiences that bring deep sadness and grief—like the first birthday, first Easter, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and all the other holidays spent without that special person. These firsts bring a profound sense of absence, making us realize just how much we miss our loved one and wish they were still with us.
Experiencing these firsts is an essential part of the grieving process. How we choose to face these days becomes our most important task. We might feel like staying in bed and crying all day, or we might allow ourselves to grieve for a while, then decide to get up and do something our loved one enjoyed on that day.
Grieving, including crying, is natural and necessary—it helps release the stress that builds up around these difficult firsts. But these moments can also be an opportunity to honor and celebrate the memory of the person we have lost. We can choose to mark the day by doing something they loved, cooking their favorite meal, or displaying their favorite decoration during the holidays. In this way, we keep their spirit alive in our actions and our hearts.
Whatever first you are navigating—whether joyful or painful—hold tightly to those memories. Each one, good or bad, helps shape the person you are, the person you will become, and the way you choose to live your life.
Find meaning in all ‘Firsts’; cherish every moment, as these memories are the building blocks of a lifetime.
